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Question: Husband cheated..What should I do?

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Answer #1:

He must be insane. Keep an eye on his activity and put your foot down if he continues communicating with this woman outside of work. And maybe you should follow him around at lunchtime.

Answer #2:

Get over it.

Answer #3:

Welcome to the club.....my wife did the same thing, only difference is she was on a business trip and met a man who she admits attempted to kiss/touch her(she pushed him away) but she kept talking to him behind my back once she got home. She kept talking to him because he made her feel special....something that I now acknowledge I never did, and regret.

i intercepted a text message and played along with it and got all the details....fortunately i know she didn't have sex, but I know exactly how you feel. I had to catch her in the act to find out...and my trust for her is almost non existent right now. Let's just say this guy will NEVER be calling her again because I basically let him know he would "disappear".

The first thing you need to find out is WHY....I found out the reason why and realized I was a root cause of the problem. This in NO WAY excuses what your husband or my wife did at all, but it helped me realize what was lacking in our marriage.

Second...you HAVE to go to counseling. If he won't go, then leave him.

Third....he has to admit the ENTIRE truth and give you time to decide if you can ever trust him again. No more lies, deception, etc....

I sincerely feel for you, we are in the same boat. Best of luck to you.....the counseling has really helped and I strongly suggest it.

Answer #4:

I think you should just watch him or if you need someone to talk im here for you just add me.

Answer #5:

you better start sexing and romancing him up... busy minds and bodies dont stray.

Answer #6:

"...also promised me he'd never do it again..." --
That is supposed to be what he was promising
when he took his marriage vows.

Answer #7:

He spoke with another woman so you should have him killed. BTW, make sure you don't ever speak with another man or he can have you killed. Don't you think that keeping track of someone
"electronically" is somewhat less than cheating? Anyway, he promised he wouldn't do it again so leave it at that.

Incidentally, take a look in a mirror. If he actually did cheat on you you could have him committed because he would have to be insane.

Answer #8:

If you "can't get over it" then leave him.

Answer #9:

So, its jive talking. These glibbering foolish talks are very unusual for a married man. Its quite equivalent to phone sex. But in your case, the other end of the phone is a real woman from the office where he will be with her most part of the day and even over time. It is really unusual for a wife not to believe or accept that nothing will touch the mental emotional chords sometime or even sooner. Idk, but my intuition about keeping his promise to you that he would not do it again and under those circumstances, the prognosis is not very good.

Answer #10:

This is cheating? I must come from a different era.

Answer #11:

Now you know what you like & dont like in men. I would put the fear of God in him by disappearing for 2 days to let him think about it. Go to your moms. Whether its a topless bar or texting, its cheating! Im old school & NEVER did that crap. Dont sweep it under the rug because it will have "Life Long Consequinces" especially if kids are involved.

"Hell hath no mercy than the scorn of a woman" !

Answer #12:

In my opinion you want to find out why telling him that he is sexy was enough to get him flattered? You see if you are being everything he wants, then why did one word cause he to emotionally cheat? That means something is missing and he is not saying or may not even know - so it is your job to probe.

I say all of this, because that is my problem. I have a horrible fickle heart, and a man tells me I am pretty and sexy, I am away and so do all I can not to get myself in that situation.

When we are insecure about how we look etc, then it is easy to feel flattered by another.

What I would do in your shoes is say that if he is genuine, he will make it that they are not in the same office and see what he says. I hope sincerely he is for real and therefore, I think that he will not mind at all changing his work environment to not include this woman.

Perhaps it is a case of he is blind to a good woman ie you. For it is not many wives who will do these things for her husband and so you really need to find out why this happened.

Answer #13:

Well you have a few choices...You could drive him and yourself crazy snooping,sneaking and trying to catch him mess up or you could decide that you forgive him and move on with life and work it out privately in your own mind or you could up and leave. I know it sounds so simple but it's not but one thing you must consider is the fact that he is at risk of cheating due to esteem issues. He admitted that he became interested when she told him she thought he was sexy...this is a huge red flag that he may again in the future feel the need to have his ego boosted and there will always be "those types of women" who will eagerly be there when he needs it. It's a crappy reality.... but it is reality.

Answer #14:

You're hurt and your trust in him has been damaged. That's understandable, and you should admit and feel your feelings.

He made a mistake and let himself be led astray. How far astray is questionable, especially since he did betray your trust by lying and by remaining in secret communication to the extent that he has admitted.

Some men really do make one mistake, regret it, and never make another. Some men cheat their entire married lives and routinely apologize and swear it will never happen again. One woman of my acquaintance, who has been married for 50 years to a cheating husband, regularly finds out about his indiscretions, he apologizes and says he's sorry, and things go on the way they were before.

You have to decide what you're willing to put up with. Can you forgive one indiscretion? More than one? Regularly for 50 years? You need to think this over very carefully. Decide what you will put up with, and communicate to your husband where your limits are. In all likelihood, it will be a long time before you will be able to trust him again, if ever, and he needs to know how you feel about his betrayal of your trust. You will both have to work on rebuilding your relationship if it's going to survive, and you will both have to give it not only effort but time.

You then need to find it in your heart to forgive him, even if you file for divorce, because carrying resentment will hurt you and not him. Just don't think you will be able to forget it, because you won't.

Answer #15:

While that's out of line for sure, its not cheating. By calling that cheating, you lessen what cheating really is.

So if he actually slept with another women you would essentially call that the same exact thing, cheating?

The question should be "husband flirted...."

That's like saying someone murdered someone, when they actually slapped them. In both instances they were harmed, but a slap isn't murder and a flirt isn't cheating. Wrong, just not the same as cheating.

Answer #16:

There are some other needs that you are not meeting other than sex. (Yes, I know there are needs he isn't meeting for you too)
Have a heart to heart, let him know this will be an awkard conversation, but let him know how you "Feel" about the situation. (Don't blame him, but discuss the way YOU FEEL)...

Sad/Mad/Hurt are not descriptive or good words to use. Abandoned, Lonely, Rejected. Those are words that we can actually relate to.

Ask him about his needs, They are more than sex. And maybe you keep him sex down, but ask how it could be even better. Its a two way discussion. Don't assume anything.

Put your ego/pride down. He will follow suit.

Answer #17:

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